oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
