Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Randomize
