these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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