like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
