He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
