i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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