I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
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