doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
