so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
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