I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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