We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
