in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
