Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
