just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
