Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Randomize
