Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
