I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
