I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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