Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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