maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Randomize