Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
