On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
