We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize
