Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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