the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
