i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Randomize
