Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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