My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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