I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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