Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
Randomize
