in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize