I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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