You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
