I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Your shirt... Was in my pants
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