Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
My life is pants optional.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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