she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
