I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
