I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
