There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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