You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Randomize
