id be glad to
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
