3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
