They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
