I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
either way he was missing a nipple.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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