babies were throwing up all over the place
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
