I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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