It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I have fence marks all over my body
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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