i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Acid is not a monday night drug
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
