What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
from now on my penis is your penis
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
pray to the hookup gods
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
