I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
