I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
