she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
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