You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
