I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
