I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I want to fling myself into the sun
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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