Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Randomize
