I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
