What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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