if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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