Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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